The Body's Relationship with Winning and Losing
We often assume that the pursuit of success, fame, and victory is our ultimate goal, believing that achieving these milestones will finally bring us peace. However, our body operates under different rules. It isn’t interested in whether we win or lose, nor does it care for highs or lows. The body's main objective is to maintain ease and balance. This is why, on some level, we might unconsciously avoid winning. We may think we crave success, but our neurology has a different agenda: to keep us stable and in familiar territory.
Why the Body Resists Highs and Lows
While the conscious mind might strive for success as a means of reducing perceived threats or achieving validation, the nervous system views extremes with caution. Success brings unfamiliarity, change, and sometimes an increase in perceived threats, such as heightened expectations or scrutiny. This disrupts the homeostasis our body constantly seeks. The nervous system naturally shies away from prolonged excitement or stress, regardless of whether they stem from positive or negative experiences. This is why we might find ourselves inadvertently sabotaging our efforts, not out of laziness or lack of willpower, but because our body is programmed to maintain stability.
The Problem with Forcing Success
Vision boards, affirmations, and other forms of “manifestation” techniques can become problematic when they are used with the expectation of forcefully achieving a goal. The body, feeling the strain of being pushed toward a high that disrupts its balance, may initiate a protective response. This often leads to self-sabotaging behavior or hesitation. However, if these practices allow the nervous system to become accustomed to an envisioned outcome and ease into the anticipation of a high, they can reduce the likelihood of self-sabotage. In such cases, success is seen as less of a threat and more of a natural extension of one’s life path.
Allowing Success to Unfold Naturally
Instead of trying to force outcomes, a more sustainable approach is to embrace success with a sense of curiosity and openness. This youthful curiosity aligns with the body’s natural desire to explore without the burden of expectation or anxiety. When we move from a place of ease, success is not forced, but rather unfolds as part of the process. This encourages resilience and prevents the body from resisting the experience.
Examples of Athletes Embracing Ease and Curiosity
Certain athletes have become masters at embodying this approach, viewing their performance not just as a battle to be won but as an exploration of their potential.
Roger Federer, for example, is known for his fluid and almost effortless play. He often speaks about how he tries to stay relaxed and enjoy the game, focusing on each point without letting the pressure of the outcome dictate his performance. This state of mind, known as “playing with joy,” reduces the likelihood of sabotage, as the nervous system remains in a state of calm curiosity.
Wayne Gretzky, dubbed “The Great One,” demonstrated a similar approach. His famous quote, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” reflects not just an aggressive pursuit of success but a deeper philosophy of playing the game with a light-hearted curiosity. Gretzky didn’t fixate on the outcomes; he was fully immersed in the flow of the game, making decisions based on instinct and presence. This allowed him to stay balanced and avoid the self-sabotage that comes from overthinking or succumbing to pressure.
The Path to Greater Success
When we step back from trying to control outcomes and instead align our actions with natural curiosity and presence, we allow success to come without the nervous system interpreting it as a threat. Training our bodies to stay in ease during highs prevents the internal push to bring ourselves back down. It’s not about avoiding success, but learning to welcome it with an open heart and steady mind.